


And Now There's Gum Stuck In My Hair

by gingerbread man (xphantomhive)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Cuddling, Dave ends up having to cut it out, Established Relationship, Fluff, Jade sticks her gum in John's hair, M/M, So fluffy you're guaranteed to get cavities, You'll just have to read the fic I guess, it's a long story, t+ for swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-04-01 11:28:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4018018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xphantomhive/pseuds/gingerbread%20man
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your dad is on a business trip, Rose is asleep, and Jade is the one who'd stuck gum in your hair in the first place. Your boyfriend Dave is all you have, so he better quit his bitching because you'd woken him up and come cut the gum out.</p><p>Right now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Now There's Gum Stuck In My Hair

**Author's Note:**

> This is the remedy for my latest sadstuck oneshot.

****

EB: daaaaaaave!

EB: david strider!

EB: i neeeeeed you!

TG: christ john

TG: im trying to fucking sleep

EB: but i need you. :(

TG: ok fine what the hell is it

EB: my hair.

TG: your...hair

TG: you woke me up

TG: because of your hair

EB: no, listen, ok.

TG: this should be good

EB: dave!

EB: be quiet!

TG: fine fine

EB: ok.

EB: jade and i were playing uno. i won, and she’s a total sore loser, and i forgot about that. i probably should’ve let her win, but dammit, i wanted to! anyway, she was chewing gum when i won the game, and she got angry and stuck it in my hair before scattering the uno cards everywhere and running away.

EB: and now there’s gum stuck in my hair.

TG: oh my god

TG: dude thats fucking great

TG: harleys a riot

EB: you’re my boyfriend!

EB: you’re supposed to love me, not say the person who stuck gum in my hair is a riot!

TG: sorry princess

TG: so whyre you telling me

EB: because i need you to cut my hair.

EB: please.

TG: its like eleven at night

TG: cant it wait

EB: no it cannot, dave.

EB: the gum will get stuck to my pillow, and then get stuck worse in my hair. my dad’s on a business trip, and obviously there are no barbers open 24/7.

EB: rose is asleep.

EB: and jade is the one who did this.

EB: i need you!

TG: egbert i swear to god

TG: youre so lucky i love you

TG: better have the door unlocked for me

TG: and a pair of scissors

EB: gotcha!

EB: i’ll see you soon, daveyyyy.

TG: dont call me davey or im not coming

EB: no, please!

TG: thats what i thought

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 11:06 --

You puff out a sigh, closing pesterchum. In case anyone might be wondering, your name is John Egbert and you just beat your cousin at a game of Uno -- she’s a sore loser, and has been since the two of you were kids. It slips your mind sometimes, you get way too caught up in winning, and then disastrous things happen. Like her sticking gum in your hair, then throwing Uno cards into the air like confetti and scampering off. The only option you had was to pester your boyfriend, Dave, in hopes he’d agree to come chop the gum out of your hair. Which, to your luck, he’d agreed.

Your phone rings. The caller ID reads “Jade.” You’d ignore her for getting gum caught in your hair, but if you do that she’ll only get angrier, and then she might do something even worse. Something like destroying your super amazing movie collection, which is an occurrence you will not let happen. “What?” You ask into the phone. She taunts about how you could’ve given a better greeting, before apologizing. You tell her it didn’t really matter, that Dave agreed to cut the gum out for you. She teases you about that somewhat, then hangs up as your doorbell rings.

Ah shit, you’d forgotten scissors. You snatch a pair from the bathroom before skidding to the front door, not really caring that all you’re in is a pair of Ghostbusters boxers (they’re cool, shut up) and a pair of blue slippers. The central air in your house isn’t working, so you have to deal with dying in the heat until your dad comes back home from his business trip, which won’t be for a few days. Dave doesn’t look much better than you, except he has on a pair of skinny jeans. “You shoulda started with the fact that you were only in boxers and slippers, ‘cause I woulda been over here fast as shit.” He says as he breezes by you, and you roll your eyes.

“You’re a pervert,” You mumble hastily, perching yourself on the sofa’s armrest. Dave doesn’t seem too hurt by the comment, which makes sense, since he actually is a total pervert and is completely aware of this fact. “I got you scissors.” You yell “heads up” before tossing said scissors to him, and it looks like he was about to have a heart attack on the spot. You giggle.

“You’re worse at nighttime, Egbert,” He grumbles, walking to you with the scissors in one hand and a comb in the other. Your eyes water when he yanks it through your hair, and then he pulls it back and there’s some blue gum stuck to it. “Mint gum, huh? Took Harley more for the bubble gum type.”

“Get on with it, Dave.”

He waves you off. You feel him grasp the piece of hair with gum tangled in it, and then he chops it off quickly. He tells you to “stay the fuck put” while he evens out the rest of your hair, and you’re glad he wasn’t just going to leave it looking shitty. Before you know it, he tosses a mirror at you, and you look at your reflection. Not that bad, you guess. Your hair needed to be cut down anyway, it was kind of turning into a rat's nest. “Looks pretty sweet.” You comment. Dave shakes his head and snatches the mirror from you, shoving it into his bookbag. You groan and swing off of the couch, keeping yourself stable with your legs only. What? It’s fun.

“Are you leaving?” You whine, reaching for Dave’s legs. After a few attempts and grabby hands, you manage to latch onto his ankles. He raises an eyebrow before dropping his bag back to the ground, shaking your hands off, and jumping onto the sofa. You sit back up, blinking a few times to clear the sudden dizziness you’re hit with. “That’s a no. Let’s watch a movie!”

Dave shakes his head. “No, no, hell no. I’m fuckin’ tired, so if you want me to stay here you’ll get over here and cuddle me to sleep this instant.” He says, drawing a laugh from you. You roll off of the armrest, throwing your arms out wide. The blonde scooches over, making himself comfortable in your arms. The two of you, somehow, end up laying down. Your legs are tangled together and his hands are running through your hair, and you’re not entirely sure he’s even aware that he’s doing it. Eventually his hands go motionless, and you can only assume it’s because he’s fallen asleep. You wiggle a bit, reaching for your phone, and you snap a picture once you’ve finally gotten it out. Then you decide to pester Jade.

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 12:50 --

EB: jade.

EB: jade you are wonderful.

GG: but i stuck gum in your hair!!

EB: yes, but i had to get dave to cut it out.

EB: and now he’s cuddling with me.

GG: aw, what? you were supposed to feel defeat after i stuck gum into your hair! you werent supposed to get it cut out and then get boyfriend cuddles to boot!!

GG: that isnt a punishment at all!!!!

EB: exactly.

EB: also, he’s sleeping.

EB: and he’s really cute.

EB: hehe. you got served, cousin of mine.

GG: dammit john!!

GG: i hate you sometimes!!!!

EB: i can tell by the over-excessive amount of exclamation points you’re using.

EB: calm down.

GG: but you got cuddles.

GG: you were supposed to be crushed like a bug!!!

GG: and instead, you got a sleepy boyfriend whos apparently cute and cuddles!!

GG: what the hell???

EB: haha, that’s what you get.

GG: karma??

EB: karma.

GG: ah damn, maybe i should be less of a sore loser??

EB: maybe so.

EB: or not.

EB: maybe next time you can punch me.

EB: then, i’ll get even more cuddles and loving.

GG: im not going to punch you so dave gives you love, john!!

EB: aw, you’re no fun.

EB: party pooper.

GG: shouldnt you be asleep??

EB: duh.

EB: but i’m not.

GG: well get there!!

GG: nighty night, john!

EB: goodnight, jade.

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 1:00 --

You set the phone aside and rest your head. “‘Bout time you put the phone away,” Dave mutters, muffled by your chest. At some point, he had apparently managed to burrow his face into your chest, probably while you’d been pestering Jade. “The fuck were you doing, anyway? I was tryin’ to sleep.”

“Informing Jade that Karma has bitch slapped her.” You deadpan. You’re slightly caught off guard by the chuckle that escapes Dave, since it’s a rarity he ever shows any emotion, and the things you say aren’t usually funny at all. Just stupid.

“You learned that deadpan from me, Egbert.”

You smile and run your fingers through his hair. “Guess I did.”

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in like twenty minutes, not gonna lie. So it probably sucks.
> 
> You're all cured of sadstuckitis.
> 
> For now.
> 
> This is only temporary.


End file.
